TJ (tj642) wrote in witsandhalfwits,
TJ
tj642
witsandhalfwits

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME  REMEDIES

Blatently stolen from my friend...

1. If you are choking on an  ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your  throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly  removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting  yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them  while you chop away.

3. You can avoid arguments  with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the  sink.

4. For high blood pressure  sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed fora few minutes, thus reducing  the pressure in your veins. Remember to usean egg  timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on  top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back  to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough,  take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to  cough.

7. Have a bad toothache?  Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the  toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to  remember what the rules of life really are:

       In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct  Tape.

       If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40.
       If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.


Thought for the  day:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE  SLINKIES..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING... BUT  THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM  DOWN A FLIGHT OF  STAIRS.
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